The second wife

"Two hair whorls! That explains it all!! I should have known this before marriage"

I am saying the words to myself than to Mr Husband.  

In India (or in any other country for that matter), we have our own set of beliefs that could get as weird as we could possibly imagine. One among million others in India is that if a person is born with two hair whorls, they are bound to be married twice!

But i can concur that it’s not a myth! Most of us are second wives to our husbands (this includes my neighbor aunty, mom, mother in law, myself and whoever is going to be the wife for my brother in law). 

The first wife is someone they are crazy about, someone who does nothing for the husband but gets all the attention instead, for whom all the energy (in a different form)/leaves/money/work from homes are spent on

She's known by the name 'CRICKET'

I am envious of it even though i do like seeing the good men playing but they are unintentionally disturbing my personal space. How?

1. For starters, every reference is given with cricket.

The baby is being particularly cranky. I ask the husband 'When was her last feed?' and the response comes as close to reverse engineering - the batsman was in his 50's at that point of time and he finished the match with 200 runs, 500+ balls. So it gotta be almost time for her food. The baby is already munching onto her next meal by the time the entire family has arrived at an consensus on the actual time

2. Networking is simple if you know cricket

I am at a networking event trying to engage in aconversation with one of the senior leadership members. He seems particular about the topics to talk about. I am rehearsing my lines over and over to give the perfect elevator pitch and my colleague walks in with a 'did you happen to watch the match last night?' and there goes the next 30 mins of the event

3. No one is a stranger

I am sitting in the tube to get back home. People are hooked to their phones. We lose network as the tube approaches one of the underground stations and finally people have a topic to talk about - What could the possible score be?

4. Television means people

No! It’s not a curfew. But people can only be found in shops which have televisions and its airing cricket. It’s a taboo to switch on the channels for music when the bowler is aiming for a Yorker.

5. New language for the baby

'Bilingual language setup makes babies smart' I am telling the husband while he's teaching the baby to show 'out' , 'six' and 'wide'. 'Does cricket count as a new language?' Iask him trying to be sarcastic and obviously pissed whilehe casually says 'no, it’s a religion'

Thank you cricket for encroaching my home, office and any place that people can reach. I am stumped!