Validations? Why?

It's been sometime peeps! Hope you missed me! (or not!)

That's cool! I'm just trying to be okay with myself and not expect praises / validation in everything I do.

Its been liberating.

Today, I went to office in a saree and no one batted an eye. They did for the first few days I went in a saree. They asked me what the occasion was. I just said.. "Oh! I love saree and I had some time in morning to do this! Something to brighten my day!". My manager called me to a room and asked me not to say the last few words (apparently it demotivates others and lets them know that everyone around is depressed). So now I have to filter my response. Now I just look at them and reply - "Its someone's birthday!".  No wonder people are looking at me like I'm a physchopath (but it's fine! I'm not looking for validation!)

I considered going for therapy too. Why do I want praises? Why the validation that what I'm doing matters? (coz it doesn't! Imagine all the rulers and scientists! They did something and left. We only remember a handful! (sometimes.. not even those)

I gathered a few names and numbers of therapists around me. I started making a mental note of all the things I need to ask them in the given 50mins. Why not? I've heard therapy is expensive. So, I'll keep a checklist handy. Not going to let the therapist sit there and judge me. I'll make them work for their money!

I've completed the list and glancing through. My problem is.. my questions ranges from 'why am I like this' to 'why can't I get off my addiction of shopping' to 'why are my headsets uncomfortable'. I'm sure the therapist is going to find a common link across all of them. (maybe something to do with my childhood)

I'm glancing further down the list and my phone beeps. It's my sister trying a video call. I pick the call and stare at her. She brightens with smile and says.. "Aww you are looking so hot! Who can say you are a mom??". And all is well with the world. My existence is meaningful again and my headsets are exactly how they are meant to.

I wrap up the notes and start with my gossip session with sister.

Bottom line - Don't complicate your life more than you need to! Just get a sister who loves you blindly. (it will fix most of your problems if not all) 

My age old story

 We age and that’s a reality that most try to look past but I guess our bodies have some unique ways of making us realise that we are indeed ageing!

For some, our face shows wrinkles and  sagging cheeks making us resemble our adorable pets. For few others, grey hair starts to show (which is confusing because one of my cousins started dyeing her hair in her late teens) and for the rest, it’s the regular parts of body refusing to function the way they are expected to! 

Well, my body gave me its warning last week and it was pretty loud and clear. My body, had it been a separate character in itself must have been laughing its head off when one of my colleagues commented on my birthday post with “34? More like 24! Now.. I did get my age wrong (technically I’m still 33) but more importantly, my body is anything but that! My 82 year old granny is in much better shape than me in most of the aspects (barring the patriarchy)

Now, what did I do to get this loud reminder you ask? I sat down. Just as simple as it sounds. No funky postures, no uncomfortable yet aesthetic chairs.. just my regular bed on which I sit every single day! After the whole drama of crying river for about 3 hours, being rushed into emergency, getting an MRI and a knee brace, I’m on my bed with a prescription for physiotherapy and a potential surgery by the end of it

What’s more embarrassing than your body giving up on itself in early 30s? Your 70+ year old aunts and uncles visiting, giving you a sympathetic look and talking in the living room of how “porcelain type” this generation is! 

One of my friend has called me. He is sitting there, watching me with thoughtful eyes, eyeing my unnecessarily expensive TV in the background. Something clicked in his brain and I instantly knew he had a terrible metaphor to quote. He takes his time and says..”it’s like you have exhausted the number of hours you can bend your knees. Just like your TV has a fixed number of hours you can watch” and I sat there looking at him and thinking.. do we have the same logic applicable for brains too? His must be fresh as new. But damn, I would have loved to extend the life of my TV if all I had to do was to get it to join the gym and sit down